At 16 years old my father was diagnosed with colon cancer. Six months after first being diagnosed, my father passed away, at the age of 52. Throughout his illness there were many quiet times that he and I shared, just talking about all the things we had done together, and all the happy memories that both of us would take on what ever path we each were given. I learned more from my father in his last 6 months of life, then I did in 16 years. I will always carry with me those private conversations that we shared, about what he would want me to achieve in life, and of course to just keep making him proud.
My father passed away on October 10, 1998. I can still remember hearing my mom just say to me "he's gone." Those words have forever stayed close to my heart as one of the most painful and life changing experiences, I will ever encounter. My mom came home that night and told me that my Dad had left me something. She came over to me, opened her hand, and said " he said make him proud." When my mom opened her hand it was my father's wedding ring. That one single interaction has forever changed my life and who I am. I knew once I accepted that ring, that was my possession, that I could never let him down. My father leaving that behind for me was a gift in figuring out who I truly was as a person.
I've carried that wedding ring with me everyday for the last 13 years. Every decision I have ever made within the last 13 years, is because I've carried that ring with me. My father's ring, to me, is my Dad telling me what decisions are right, and what decisions are wrong. The change in my personality, my day to day activities, my whole persona, was almost immediate. I wasn't just a 16 year old girl anymore looking for her way in life. I had my golden ticket. As easy as it would have been to give up, to be upset and mad, that I just lost my father, I had the ability to look at everything vastly different. I became me!
Today, you can ask anyone I know, that ring is always with me. I'll find myself just thinking about anything, and just fiddling around with the ring at the same time. This ring has become such a part of me and my life that I couldn't possibly think of being without it. My Dad's final wish for me was to make him proud, to do the right thing, to achieve as much as life has to offer, and I've done that because I've always had a piece of him to take with me!
